Help for Tall Women
Tall women need help sometimes too. Just because we are tall, brilliant, beautiful, and successful... (o.k. maybe I'm pushing the boundaries here, but it's fun to be totally positive!:-)... doesn't mean we are beyond the need for help. I'll be your sponge.. I'll try to help clean up the uncertainty with my practical wisdom and time tested experience with tall women the world over.
Kristy of the USA writes: I found your website the other day when I was reading Becky Thomas's story in the New York Times. I was moved when I saw the picture of your daughters and yourself, and the fact that you said you were going to "go through it again" with your tall daughters. Well, I find myself going through the same thing now. I have only one daughter, she is 13. I am 6'. I have ALWAYS been the tallest girl in school, at work, you know what I am talking about. My dad is 6'4". His dad was 6'4". My daughter's father also comes a fairly tall family. Her dad is 6'1". Now comes my fears. And please know that I am the best mom to my daughter. She has always been tall, of course, but this summer it seems she has grown 2 inches overnight. I am now looking at my daughter in the eye. Jene, I am so scared she is going to go through so much worse than even what I went through, because I think ( well, I know) she is going to be taller than even me. I know no one would understand how I feel. But how can you shield your children from the ridicule they will face? She is beautiful, both inside and out. But she is getting ready to go into 8th grade. I am so afraid for what she may face. I talk to her about how beautiful she is, how lucky she is to be tall and how she will appreciate it when she gets older. I just never thought she would be taller than me, or, possibly taller than her father. Maybe it is just my insecurities coming out all over again (I am 38). Last week, the only person I have talked to is her doctor. She was quite surprised at her height ( my daughter was not with me) and I also told her the same thing about maybe it's just me... but, anyway, she did want my daughter to have a bone X-ray done of her hand. I haven't heard anything, and quite frankly, what good will it do anyway? I'm very happy to have found your website. Maybe you can give me some experienced advice. Thank you for your time! Sincerely, Kristy, USA
Hi Kristy, Thank you so much for writing. I'm so happy you found Tall-Women-Revolt.com! You are doing the the exact things I would recommend. You're doing the right thing: "She is beautiful, both inside and out... I talk to her about how beautiful she is, how lucky she is to be tall and how she will appreciate it when she gets older." This type of positive reinforcement is what she really needs. My good friends mother, a tall woman, used to tell her: "There's no room in this world for a shrinking violet." , when she slouched or felt sorry for herself for being tall. And she would constantly let her daughter know how beautiful she is. I think this is most important for a young tall girl, because many times you can feel odd or "boyish" being tall and being a girl. It's important tall girls gain confidence, but not insolence, and feel beautiful about being tall. It is also important that they be treated normal at home and not like a 'victim'. "But she is getting ready to go into 8th grade. I am so afraid for what she may face.... Maybe it is just my insecurities coming out all over again (I am 38)." I agree. Fears and insecurities are what you don't want to project onto your girl. You're close to midlife, so you may be experiencing feelings from the past, and having your daughter there, at a crucial age, may just be setting some of those old feelings off. Just be careful not to project them onto her, and let her have her own feelings about being a tall teen. Your daughter is so lucky to have you! Many people these days forgo this type of introspection, and merely project there feelings onto the world around them. What an excellent Mother you are! :-) "Last week, the only person I have talked to is her doctor. She was quite surprised at her height ( my daughter was not with me) and I also told her the same thing about maybe it's just me... but, anyway, she did want my daughter to have a bone X-ray done of her hand. I haven't heard anything, and quite frankly, what good will it do anyway?" I don't believe an x-ray will do any good. In fact, I believe it will have the opposite effect on your daughter psychologically, making her feel like a "freak" or that "something is wrong with her". I hate to say it, being in the medical field myself, but many medical professionals are too quick to keep people "sick" and to slow to help people get better. Your doctors apparent shock at her height and recommendations would have me seeing red flags too. There is nothing abnormal about your daughters height, the human species has been growing taller for centuries. Now, I'm not a doctor, and if there were truly something physically wrong with your daughter, I would suspect you would see more symptoms other than just her height and get multiple professional opinions before proceeding with a treatment or any type of physical diagnoses that could make your daughter feel at odds with her height. Stand Tall! Stand Proud! Stand for Something! I hope this helps. All My Best, Jene' -------------------------------------------
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