One of the girls there, a tall blonde teen, was about 17 and had me in stitches (uh, laughing uncontrollably) about why she was there and what led up to it... so I begged and pleaded with her to write her story down to share here... she did! Oh, I forgot to mention... I recently had the good fortune of spending a long afternoon at my favorite beauty salon, and overheard some great stories. This story is great, but she asked not to be named for fear of.... well you'll see... enjoy this fabulous story from Hair Dye Hell...

You know what I don’t like about being a tall blonde teen? Everyone thinks I look like Barbie—or that I COULD look like Barbie. I hear them whispering it as I walk down the hall: “Look at her—that blonde hair, those long skinny legs—doesn’t she look to you as if she could be a real live Barbie doll? She just needs a makeover.”

Could. COULD. Always COULD.

Yes, I suppose I could look like Barbie if only I had better cheekbones, flawlessly applied makeup that never runs or smears (hello! my oily adolescent skin sucks for makeup!), and don’t even get me started on that perfect bod. Imagine, I’d look even more like her if I were five feet shorter. What's Barbie really, like a foot tall?

Long skinny legs and blonde hair that sticks out all the time are about the only two things I have in common with Barbie. How does she come by so many cute clothes that fit as if they were made especially for her? Why doesn’t she ever have to wear sandals or men’s athletic shoes because those are the only kind she can fit into? At least when it comes to clothes and shoes, short girls are way ahead on looking more like Barbie than any tall blonde teen ever could!

Not to mention all of her friends are just as tall as she is. Ken is only half an inch taller—but he is taller.

People tell me I could look just like Barbie if I did this with my hair, and that with my clothes, like buying a form-fitting wardrobe as chic as Barbie’s? Yeah, right. They think buying clothes for a tall skinny teen is as easy and cheap as going to the toy store to buy new outfits for Barbie. They probably think I sleep in a shoe box with all my clothes, and that my brothers occasionally conduct amputation experiments on me when they’re not trying to melt me in the microwave or blow me up in the back yard.

I tried changing my hairstyle. Barbie usually wears her hair long and straight, or in some sort of ponytail or bun. I tried braids. Then they started asking me where my horned helmet was. They started shouting, “Hey, Valkyrie!” as I went down the hall.

Oh, great. Now, instead of a doll that’s better dressed and has a way more exciting social life than me—heck, who has has more of a regular life than I do—I’m being compared to a mythical Viking undertaker!!!

Then I thought if I dyed my hair a different color, I could get away from the whole Barbie and Valkyrie comments. So I did! I chose black because I wanted to get as far away from blonde as possible...

Huuuu-ge mistake!

Hey tall blonde teens, if you ever want to change your hair color because you’re sick of being told that with a makeover, you could look just like Barbie, or if you braided your hair and donned a horned helmet, you could have a rewarding career selecting Viking warriors for a hero’s death and then escorting them to Valhalla—as if there’s big money in that nowadays—please take my advice, and don’t dye your hair black.

Why? Because we tall blonde teens share one other feature—no, not the long skinny legs—but a feature we share in common with short blonde girls, a feature we don’t pay much attention to until we’ve been out in the sun all day . . . or we dye our hair coal black.

Thanks to our very fair skin, black hair makes an otherwise lively tall blonde girl look like a tall dead brunette girl! A tall dead brunette girl who nonetheless continues walking and talking and doing everything a live tall girl of any hair color would do short of eating others’ brains!

I think they call such them “zombies.” In fact, I know they do because that’s what they coughed out as I walked down the hall between classes... (*cough* cough* "Zombie!" *cough* cough*).

It was worse than mumble mumble "Barbie" or "Hey, Valkyrie!", and almost as bad as being compared to Morticia Addams (yeah, I heard that one, too).

I don’t get it. Why couldn’t I be compared to Snow White? She had black hair and very fair skin, didn’t she? And unlike her, I don’t have to run very far into the woods to find seven guys a lot shorter than me. I can pound—I mean, round up a lot more than that in the school cafeteria.

A short blonde teen comes up to me. “At least you’re tall enough that you can wear your hair in braids if you like,” she says. “Braids make me look like a little girl.”

“Do people tell you that when you wear braids?” I ask.

“No,” she replies. “They just think I’m younger than I really am.”

Since we teens always want to look older than we really are, that made me feel a little better. Still, I wonder why no one ever tells her that she looks just like Barbie’s little sister Skipper.

And unlike me, she wouldn’t even need the makeover.

LOL!!! Tall Blonde Teen Tales From The Crypt! Just a wonderful story from a girl with a great sense of humor. You can tell your story too , we'd all love to here it.

Click here and tell your great teen tale!

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